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In Times of Trouble
Build Resilience

By Liz Ashe
Affiliated EAP Services

Building resilience – the ability to adapt successfully to unexpected changes and events – can help anyone manage stress and feelings of anxiety and uncertainty.

Whether we are dealing with war, layoffs, life altering events, death, change, divorce, health issues, financial difficulties, or any other problem, we need to build resilience or a plan for staying emotionally healthy.

Being resilient doesn’t mean we won’t experience difficulty or distress. Emotional pain, anger, grief and sadness are common when we have troubles or during tough times.

Developing resilience involves behaviors, thoughts and actions that can help you cope with stressful events. It helps restore balance in your life.

SIXTEEN STEPS FOR
BUILDING RESILIENCE

Support your values behaviorally. During tough times we sometimes have a tendency to focus on everything that is wrong instead of looking at all that is right. Don’t neglect people and activities that are important to you.

Make connections. Keep in touch with family, friends and others. This provides social support and strengthens resilience.
You may also find comfort in connecting with a higher power.

Accept help from others. If friends and family reach out to you, don’t turn them away. You may feel like being left alone, but isolation is not recommended.

Maintain a daily routine. Keeping up with things you routinely do such as work, errands, household chores and hobbies provides a sense of stability when the world around you seems chaotic. Sticking to your routine is comforting to children as well.

Give yourself a “news” break. Limit the time you spend watching television or focusing on war-related, disaster-related or depressing events. Most of us want to be informed, but too much can make us more anxious. This is especially important right before you go to sleep.

Help Others. Volunteering or helping others during difficult times helps divert the focus from us for awhile. If you know someone who is alone because of a death or military duty, call and invite him/her to dinner or to a social event. Offer to baby-sit or run errands.

Give yourself credit for past successes. Most of us have experienced troubling times before and somehow survived. It helps to remember all the times we successfully handled ourselves and to draw on the skills used in the past.

Maintain a hopeful and positive outlook. Optimism enables you to see the good things in your life and can keep you going even in the hardest times. Take time to identify and appreciate positive things in your life.

Deal with your anger. Don’t take your anger out on those closest to you. Unresolved anger can lead to doing and saying something you’ll later regret. Strenuous physical activity is one way to deal with anger. Find ways to defuse, relax and let go.

Talk it out. Turning to others about your thoughts, fears and feelings is like opening a steam value. Bottling up feelings and thoughts restricts your ability to work through your difficulties and pain.

Put thoughts on paper. Many people find it beneficial to write down their concerns and feelings in a journal.

Be empathic and listen to others. It often helps to learn that you are not alone. Others have the same thoughts and feelings as you do. Your loved ones are going through tough times also.

Normalize your feelings. Don’t compare yourself with others or judge their reactions or lack of reactions. Everyone deals with things differently but do recognize that during troubling times your feelings; sadness, anger, fear, anxiety, distress, irritability, moodiness, etc. are normal. However, if these feelings last longer than 4-8 weeks, you may want to seek professional help.

Take care of yourself. Make every effort to eat nutritious, balanced meals and snacks.

Get plenty of rest. Feeling tired wears down your resilience to anxiety and stress. Find ways to unwind. Practice relaxation techniques such as deep breathing, meditation, yoga, and/or prayer. Make time for fun. Schedule time to do the things you enjoy. Fun helps relieve anxiety and stress.

Exercise. Exercise is the number one antidote for stress. Researchers believe it is due to a combination of factors.

Physiology: When you exercise, your brain releases endorphins that relieve pain and produce a sense of wellbeing. It also encourages your brain to secrete neurotransmitters (serotonin, dopamine, norepinephrine) that are natural antidepressants. Psychology: Studies have found that exercise helps relieve muscle tension and pent-up emotions. It also enhances energy and mood. Social Factors: Exercising with a friend or as part of a group provides social interaction and support. This can lift your spirits and take your mind off your troubles. Any physical activity helps. What is important is that you do something everyday. Usual activities like chores, climbing steps and yard work count too.

Continually ask yourself, “Is what I am doing, contributing to my feeling peaceful and good?”

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An approach to building resilience that works for you might not work for someone else. If you are feeling stuck, overwhelmed, and unable to feel better using the steps above, EAP can help. Your EAP is a confidential, assessment, short-term counseling and referral program for you and your family members. It is a free benefit provided to you as an employee. For more information or an EAP appointment, call:

1-800-451-1834